To anyone who thinks I've been ignoring you lately, I haven't. I've been ignoring myself so maybe by extension you, too, but I swear it's not been intentional. I've been depressed. Not crippingly so, thankfully, but enough to feel like retreating from the world.
This depression is different from my normal depression because it's primarily situational, not just because my brain chemicals are all out of balance. Either way, depression lies. It tells you terrible things about yourself and the world around you until it feels like the only option is to hide. This sort of depression is a little easier to deal with though because you can hold onto hope that things may be better once you get through the worst of the shitty situation. This is the sort of depression that platitudes and self help tips and hokey motivational memes are made for. This is type of depression where basic therapy works beautifully. This is not the chemical depression that is soul crushing and hope stealing. This is not the chemical depression that tells you that things will always be like this and you'll never get better.
I'm trying to get better. I've been going to therapy. I've been doing the work. I almost never miss my medicine. I have to hope that all this will be enough. Until then, know I'm not trying to be absent. I'm not trying to ignore anyone. I'm just trying to get through the worst part.
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